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stacytoofly posted this
When is enough, eventually, enough
#1. I AM PROUD TO BE 24, AND NOT A PARENT.
To those who are, I respect you, 100%. Please don’t let this get out of context. I am 24 and I havent been in love and I could never imagine having a baby with someone that I didn’t love, regardless of this day in age, or whatever it is that is going on. Stop drinking the water, or be safe, my god, coming from the queen over here, not really I really don’t have any right to say that but a man can only do so much, and so can we, as women. Either take birth control, use condoms, or fuck, Plan B. I don’t know what to say and I really don’t have any more opinions on this. A lot of people I know have, are having, or plan… on having kids. AHHHHH. I want kids these days to grow up better than I did, I want them to have parents in love, not parents who fight. Happy child hoods, not broken homes. AGAIN MY OPINION DOES NOT MATTER. Everyone that I know who has children has more love for their child/ren than you could ever possibly imagine.
It’s not that “I love you kind of love ” but more so as an ” I made you, I will love you unconditionally” kind of love. Something I don’t, and maybe won’t understand.
#2. I GET LONELY, BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO BE
“I like to tangle up the strings of the puppetry
But you knew me back when I was a younger me
You seen Sean in all types of light
And I’ve been meanin’ to ask you if I’m doin’ alright
Yesterday
Was that you? Looked just like you
Strange thangs my imagination might do
Take a breath, reflect on what we been through
Or am I just goin’ crazy ‘cause I miss you?”
Atmosphere, When Life Gives You Lemons You Paint That Shit Gold. AHHH. I can’t be tamed. I won’t be tamed. I need to be loved for me, I need someone to want to take recognition, LOOK AT ME, now I’m there. Care, apologize? Wait, why am I talking about apologies when there shouldn’t be a need to. ANYWAY. Time to walk a new path and grow a back bone.
I suppose what I am suppose to do is open myself up, be myself. Well I have been myself so why am I still alone, ya know, alone.. what a lonely word but I mean I guess, like I said, I am alone because I chose to be. I don’t see myself being with someone when I see an expiration date, but what happened to experimentation and learning love and fuck, pour me another won’t you?
I’m scared. I can never forgive you for doing this to me, I trust no one, and if I let myself, I would fall in love with everyone because I feel even the most heartless person deserves to be loved, or at least given the chance.
#3. BEST FRIENDS MEANS I PULL THE TRIGGER, BEST FRIENDS MEANS YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE
If I’m just bad news, then you’re a liar. FIRST. I am disappointed, whatever, I can’t be. I thought my friendship with Scott was going to turn out differently. I don’t know what I did, or what happened, or what I didn’t do. I know what I didn’t do. I didn’t give him what he deserved. I hate that he was so nice to me, and I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. Perfect example of ^^ the previous number but you know, I am apologizing, I don’t know how many more times I can, if I even have but hey, Scotty, if you’re reading. I love you, I do. You are one of the single greatest people I have ever met in my life, and the ability for me to love you incredible. You are inspirational, please don’t let anyone, or anything stand in the way of your dreams. I have faith in you, more than you know, and or may believe but I hope that you get everything that you deserve, and I, karma, will get mine. I deserve to be get cold shoulders, and I don’t know? I didn’t want to be a bad friend? Or disconnect myself, or whatever happened. But I do know that, fuck, I am a little upset, that well, it doesn’t matter. There are a great set of photos that I have from my time in the Poconos and I wish you all have the best of time! Thank you for inviting me last year, and getting me away, and starting my life over with no regrets, no doubts, but here I am. Writing this in a blog, rather than saying it to your face. Well the only time we talk, is over, well lately it’s been nothing. I’m sorry. I hope you are doing well, I miss you. <3
#4. STOLEN
My brain, by this man that drives me crazy. If you want me to elobrate, it’s just not going to happen on here and maybe I keep it bottled inside because it’s inappropiate. There is no need to show signs of interest if there is no interest from the other party, right? Don’t know, Don’t care. I just changed my mood. He, him, man? Maybe, could be. Possibly. So handsome. Full of knowledge of things that I don’t know about it. His voice, did I say that already? I don’t care, I don’t… I’ll keep it all in if I have to because I would never try and make a move, our friendship is really good, I mean, I like it. ONE SIDED. Boss DJ.
#5. ENOUGH ENOUGH ENOUGH
“The only guarantee in life is a life worth dying for
Cause death don’t wait for no one
Sitting on your front door
The only guarantee in life is a life worth dying for
Cause death don’t wait for no one
Sitting on your front door”
I love everyone in my life, I will do what I need to to make sure I get what I deserve. Gratitude goes along way. I’ve had enough, stay fly, breathe easy
